I get like this sometimes. Going along all fine and then boom I wake up and realise I am stuck. How did that happen? When did I let myself switch back to autopilot and put the brakes on. Seriously that is how it feels.Read More
Today is RUOK day. If you don’t know what this means then say the letters out loud. It is a simple question not asked often enough. The fact that there is a day dedicated to this reminder says a lot. Our society is in such a state that we forget to ask the simplest of questions “Are you ok?” and mean it. Of course the key message is to not just ask this question on one day but all throughout the year whenever you feel it seems appropriate.
For me it is more about being sincere and authentic when you ask how someone is doing. It is such a common greeting that we often don’t listen for the response. How often do you meet someone and ask without really thinking about the person’s day. It is likely that you share the words as part of a conversation but not the feeling inside of really wanting to know. We have someone where to go, thoughts on our mind, our our own worries and concerns or the task at hand as distraction.
When we ask someone how he/she is doing many secretly don’t want to know. Many of us don’t want to go into a conversation that isn’t upbeat, superficial and trivial. Many of us are too afraid to hold a real conversation and truly listen to another person.
I have a tendency to go with the flow, explore and see what life brings to me. I used to be an over achiever. Now I might even be described as an under achiever and perhaps a bit more of an over be-er. What I mean by this is that despite all the well laid plans, strategies and structured decisions, life throws curve balls. Actually life doesn’t just throw curve balls, life shoots tennis balls out of an automatic machine until you surrender.
You know that experience, just when you had everything figured out then something happened. Well this is what I am talking about. It is that feeling that you think (key operative word here) you know (another key operative word here), then you realize that you don’t really know. In this context I am talking about over thinking, over analyzing, over doing a point to exhaustion - your own exhaustion.
To know your self you have to make time to be in relationship with your self.
Being authentic implies a lot. Firstly it implies a sense of presence. You need to be present to be. Then there is an element of uniqueness to it. Who else can be you but you? What makes you, you?
Ultimately being authentic is an active evolving process, not a static destination you attain.
So in the spirit of working with you on the journey to your true self I am writing a few posts on authenticity. This one starts with some framing and context from which I will share with you some more specific and practical ways to develop.