Does this happen to you ever? What you want to do does not seem to eventuate. Then when you sit with it longer you realize that you probably needed what you thought you wanted to do not to happen. It's a bit of Murphy's Law meets Law of Attraction. If this does not make sense then just consider we teach what we most need to learn.
Time to practice what I tell others
Let me be open with a bit of personal disclosure to start. In my case, I feel that I strive to work from the place of creation, not reaction. However, for years I have teetered between the two and now firmly want to declare it's time for creation. Saying this out loud to you, I notice that at times when I look back in my life I can get caught up in bouts of negativity. The negativity stems from me wishing I did things differently or took another path. It is not about regrets. It is simply an experience like weights holding me down, acting as reminders, tugging and pulling me back. What then happens is I sometimes end up filtering opportunities or situations through gray colored glasses. Instead of being my positive, upbeat, go with the flow self I end up being the nay sayer. Never the naysayer to others, just me.
In practical terms what this means is I start alot and stop dead in my tracks. Yes that is the feeling. Imagine seeing a balloon or a flower floating in the air. You run and chase it, entranced by the beauty and randomness of it's appearance. Only all the sudden you realize that the rest of the world is watching you chase after this dream. From their perspective you look a little crazy or wacky. As soon as I get a scent of this viewpoint I come crashing down. I dig my heels in the earth and drag myself to a screeching halt, building up piles and piles of mud in the midst of it all.