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Jenn's main blog

Getting what you want

Jenn Shallvey

What does it feel to want something so badly and then get it. Do you change? Do you really feel different?

I think it depends on what state you are in anticipating what it is you want.

Someone close to me

My experience comes today from observing my son. He is 11 years old tomorrow. For as long as he has been at primary school all he has wanted was to attend a particular high school. He does not do this until January 2010. Yet for him this is a picture he holds in his mind. It is not unusual for it to come up in conversation every so often.

I also check in a lot too. I ask things like "are you sure this is where you want to go?", "there are other schools you could apply to, do you want to".

No is the answer.

Focused on the outcome

He became focused on this being the place he would go. He would make jokes like, if I don't get in I will camp on their front doorstep until I do. He never talked about not getting in.

So as a parent I have continually had to manage the expectation versus reality. A lot more kids don't get into this school than get in. He would always say to me all the things he does and the aspects of his personality that would make him someone who should attend this school. As this came from him his confidence grew. We of course agreed but always encouraged his belief.

The news

So today he got the news he wanted. He got accepted. We don't have to do plan B, or plan C. I don't have to mop up the tears, manage expectations. However I do have to manage the change in his state.

For when we get what we want then we move to the next stage. We have nothing to focus on. So my focus for him is to continue to get the most out of his experiences without having to have the goal hanging over his head. For example, can he still do the work at school that gets results for his own satisfaction rather than thinking the marks will help him later. Can he stay involved in his music because in his heart he loves music.

I think so.

He got what he wanted. He also learned along the way to live every day and focus on what his day was about and not be obsessed about the outcome.

For you

So what is it that you want so badly you would camp out on a doorstep to get if you had to? Is there something you desire? What goes on in your mind when it comes to thinking about it? How do you handle your day to day actions, situations, experiences in the context of these desires or wants?

Some considerations.

Focus on what you want.

Keep imagining, visualising and believing in the outcome you seek.

Know that others will test your commitment. Be strong.

Have what you need to back up the liklihood of what you want coming true.

Tell people and keep the focus on what it is you want, not what you don't want.

Be in the moment and day to day and enjoy what you do along the way.

Let your experiences in your life still be what drives you as well as the overall goal.

So enjoy getting what you want and have fun in the process of trying.

Let's go there...

Jenn