Who cares

Love in the rain copy.jpg

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who cares.

So you think to yourself:
Who would say this, who would even think this thought?

Many do but may not be conscious about it.  

Every time we walk by someone, ignore a person, ignore a comment, ignore an encounter we are in effect saying 'who cares'.

Every time we engage in conversation but carry around bags full of judgment of self and others we say 'who cares'.

So lets try again (no cringing allowed at my corny comedy).

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
You who?
‘Yoo hoo!’ - sure is a nice way to grab someone’s attention.

Caring starts with attention. It is that simple. Focusing on who means being persistent, going beyond the surface and trusting in your self.

What can you do?

Notice others...So the next time you are out and about notice people. If you are already someone that does this then great. Easy to keep doing. If you feel uncomfortable then start small and work your way up.  

Glance and smile…Look someone in the eye when you pass by and smile.  Not in a weird you have something wrong with your clothes way but simply an acknowledgment of the other.  

Start with hello…Maybe you can say hi, hello, use your voice.  How simple a conversation starter this one word can be. How often do you use it? Do a little audit of yourself for a day then ramp up the hello’s.

Chat up a stranger…OK well let’s just call it friendly conversation. No intention here for anything other than an open exchange between two people. Next time you are on public transport or in a cafe by yourself try the combo - eyes, smile and hello. Then go for a bit more conversation. Stay open, curious and interested as you never know what you may discover.  

Have real conversations…Here’s where I think it may get challenging for some. For when we already know someone we fall into a comfort pattern. Our conversations can feel ‘safe’.  You know this pattern. You don’t share truth, real feelings, thoughts and words.  Avoidance of conflict is a higher priority.  Yet to really care about the who means saying and asking more-both positive and constructive when needed.  Notice what your pattern is like and what you want to do about it.

Aspire to judgment free conversations…This is the ultimate place of who.  It is when caring about who goes both ways between two people AND within our selves. This is the trickiest of them all. Why? Because we walk around with one voice speaking through our mouth and another in our head. Often, in fact most of the time, the two dialogues do not line up.  This is probably a good thing while we are still sorting out the judgment free bit.  How to be at this level requires a bit more consideration than a short email. For now check in with yourself and ask ‘what would life be like in a world of judgment free conversations where people cared who? How can I move in this direction each day, each conversation?”

So I ask you one last time…

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Me who?
Someone caring just like you.

Feedback welcome!
Over to you. I would love to hear from you on how you got on with the above. Please feel free to send me a note or connect with me further.


Jenn Shallvey