As human beings we need to assert our position, views and ideas. It is part of being authentic to say what we think about a situation, an issue or any topic that may arise in a conversation. To express ourselves is healthy and complete.
Yet how and when we choose our comments is critical.
Speak first party, not third party
It is easy to speak third party language any day. But it is another thing to converse in first party. What I mean by this is we often can talk about other people when they are not present. We can run through the whole gamut of good and bad in one entire conversation. The person to which we refer simply remains a cognitive construct, a convenient reference point in the minds of both conversationalists.