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Jenn's main blog

Fairies need farmers

Jenn Shallvey

Many years ago I used to visit a clairvoyant on a regular basis to get my tarot cards read to me.  This lady came with high recommendations and reputable referrals from some coworkers.  At the time I had full appreciation and respect for the reader’s gifts as her insight was so profoundly accurate and insightful.

I would visit this lady like anyone would see a coach or a counselor. In fact I explained our regular six monthly sessions as my spiritual counseling.  I would gain much from the thoughts and ideas she unveiled and allowed me to consider. Never did she forebode nor portend doom or gloom. No, there may have been challenges or other issues in my way to address, but nothing predictive. Instead we explored many facets of my life journey at that time.  We focused surprisingly on the present and the way that I traveled my life path.  I share below an interesting comment she made to me once. 

Living the dreamer’s life

First let me set some context.  For years I have always lived the idealist’s life, dreaming of the next possibility, thinking way in the future.  The upside to this way of seeing the world is that I am forever inspired, inventive, idea oriented and creative in my approaches.  The cost and challenge of this life is that I have had and still do sometimes avoid or absent-mindedly deal with the reality of practical life situations.  Even so I still managed to develop skillfully the outer ability to be organized and practical.

I felt quite out of balance for a while.  I worked in a profession, accounting, where being practical and real made me successful. Yet I also took myself off inspirational roads forever exploring ideas and new paths.  In this wandering I seemed to lose my way and sometimes my place in this world.  Relationships always were the means to keeping me on path.  I found this through the friends I kept and the people I found interesting in my networking. Ultimately I gained a great sense of balance when I settled down with my husband.

Living with complements

DSCN0564 The interesting fact in my life is that my husband is the opposite, as opposite as anyone could be.  Where I am ideal, he is realistic and practical.  Where I explore in my dreams, he is grounded in reality.  I rebel, he reminds me of the values in tradition.  He cooks, I clean.  There are many more deep as well as trivial ways this dichotomy played out so far over the past 20 years I have known him. We make a perfect match; we complete each other.

The positive aspects of such a balanced relationship are numerous.  I continue to learn and benefit greatly from his presence in my life. He continues to be challenged into new ways of thinking. Our kids get a balanced view of the world growing up in our household. When I am off brainstorming and envisioning new ideas he helps me to bring them into reality and sort through what is possible now give my current circumstances. When he assesses a situation based on what we can do I will be the voice of ‘what if’ or ‘why not’ or ‘what about’.  Surprisingly we both get the best out each other rather than the worst. (Perhaps there is a bit more to this relationship…)

Either way I find that he helps to ground me into reality.  The challenge is that sometimes such grounding can feel like a hand brake being pulled up while the car is still in motion.  Any dreamer/idealists will relate – you don’t want your ideas challenged. 

So whilst I was newly in my relationship with my husband the topic of our complementary personalities would come up often.  At the time I was still learning how to work with our differences. Our similarities and interests etc were far greater and what we focused on in developing and cementing our union. So to go to the differences in more detail was challenging.

Given my feeling at the time was that of being held back I wondered how I would work this out.

Then the clairvoyant said to me “All fairies need farmers.”

Fairies need farmers

That was the answer to explain the reason why our relationship actually worked.  I am not saying I am a fairy yet I will say I relate entirely to the persona of a magical being spreading her magic and joy around the world making wishes come true.  I also believe that I could relate to the idea that my husband was tending to the soil and earth on which I rested and re-energized to do my work.  Knowing that he is there holding the space in a larger sense gives me the freedom and opportunity to fly.  It is a comfort yes, but also more than just that. It is a knowing that I am not alone in this world doing my work.  That I have support, not competition nor criticism, and therefore can focus on what matters in regards to the gifts I have to use and share.

That is why all fairies need farmers.

Farmers need fairies

Likewise I would say that all farmers need fairies. What a dull world (of course this is my biased fairy view) it would be if we only stayed in our place and did not explore our dreamDSCN1917s.  It may not be for all of us to constantly pursue our dreams but certainly it is important to expand our minds, our potential and to grow and develop.  Also in the defense of the farmer side of us we need to ensure that we act on our dreams in this real world or nothing would happen.

It’s “and” not “either/or”

So lets say that the need is for both. Fairies AND farmers.  The world needs both to function and evolve.  Our communities, families, relationships constructively evolve with such complementary diversity. The challenge is about getting along and appreciating the difference.  

There is also a need for both not just in individuals, but also within our selves.  So whether or not we are in complementary relationships we need to get in touch with our ‘inner fairy’ and our ‘inner farmer’. The development of our relationship with each aspect will enable us to be fuller, more complete and able to make a difference in this world.

There are various ways to approach our exploration of our fairy and farmer selves. Simply, we can be a fairy, farmer or both.  

Becoming our inner fairy

I feeDSCN1864l that there are times when letting go and delving into the unknown, mystery of life is the only way to learn. In these times we suspend judgment, let go of preconception s and forget what other people say we should do. In fact the word ‘should’ simply falls away from our vocabulary.  It is in these times that we play. We literally play and experience first hand what it might be like to do something radically different.  We learn a bit more about what we could be if we were to continue along a new and unknown path.

If it were not for such exploration times in our life then we would certainly stay stagnant and waste away.  We would also maintain the status quo, not just for our own lives but the lives of others with whom we connect. For I believe that as we stay static in our own world, then the people around us have no change from which to perhaps be inspired to grow as well.

 So in favor of our fairy exploration periods I say put your wings on and fly.

Becoming our inner farmer

Then of course we need to be farmers too.  What if we didn’t tend to the ground and foundation from which we fly? There would be nowhere for us to return, refuel, regather and relaunch into new and further exciting journeys.  Being a farmer in life means tending to your own patch and making sure you have the basics covered.  The basics are in all sorts of areas – you know the major life areas. I have heard many refer to being balanced in our well being, others talk about life wheels and all the dimensions of our life.  To get back to basics means checking in regularly to see how we are tracking in all these areas. 

From a farmer’s perspective we also travel with the seasons. We begin to see our life in terms of seasons.  This means whilst we live in the present we also prepare for the future and reap (or perhaps not depending on how well we went) the benefits of our past effort.   I like to see us as human beings acknowledging the cycles of our life.

Tapping into our inner farmer also means understanding that we need to plant seeds. Yes we need to set in motion what we want to create for we can’t just have everything we want instantly.  The farmer in us knows inherently that to harvest and reap in the future we lay the foundation now.  This analogy can go many ways and of course I know you are intelligent enough to keep it going. Let’s just say the important point is to honor this stage and accept it rather than begrudge it.  When we are in our inner fairy state we may be inclined to wave our magic wand and expect everything to change instantly.  When it doesn’t well then we get frustrated.

So here’s to the farmer side of us that ensures we plant and tend to what we want so we can actually enjoy the harvest.

Invoking unity
IMG_0493
So both the inner farmer and the inner fairy can coexist.  To be in one or the other depends on circumstances, your current state of being and where you are at in your life.

I would also propose that to really tap into the strengths of both, you cultivate the magic in both aspects concurrently. Consciously it is within your full control and power to conjure up the images and associated aspects of each. You can acknowledge what each does for you. Then you can work with rather than against these archetypal helpers within you.

The benefit of working internally is that you then become better and dare I say masterful at dealing with others.  When you meet the fairies and farmers in your life, or like me, choose one as a partner, you gain greater appreciation and respect for people that complete you.  Your sensitivity to others increases, your intuition enhanced.

No excuses here

Now I am adding a proviso, an important one. I wish not to categorize you nor encourage you to wander around using your inner fairy to create excuses for why you don’t do housework anymore. No. I simply want you to consider the idea of being balanced internally so that you can relate better with others who may in their actions seem different from you.  When we start identifying with types we can tend to ignore the positive aspects and benefits of types we don’t identify.  Then to even say we identify with one begins to limit our view of our self as essentially open to all. 

It makes for a far more interesting world when we have differences and an even better world when we appreciate these and get along.

So in the spirit of providing balance to my fairy like ramblings let me propose, suggest, offer up some ideas on how to put these ideas into practice.  If you already have some ideas than skip mind and get started. Otherwise read on for some suggestions that might trigger you into action.

Getting to know your inner fairy


  • Play.  Set aside a period of time where you will be uninterrupted.  I suggest at least enough for you to get past the self-judgment and then fully let yourself go and have fun. Then take yourself out to play somewhere that you have not been to for awhile.  When selecting a location, consider where perhaps you used to go as a child, what brings a smile to your face, etc.  Then get there.  Explore and notice what is around you. Look for the first time ever at the beauty of the area, location.

     

     


  • Put on your favorite music and dance.

     

     


  • Use some pretend magic.  Write a letter to yourself starting with the words “If I could wave my magic wand across my life I would….”

     

     


  • Have an ideal conversation.  Call up a like minded, or should I say open-minded friend and invite this person to join you for coffee/tea.  Then throughout your conversation only talk about wishes, desires, dreams and ideals.  Give your friend permission to let you know whenever you challenge, doubt or dismiss any of these. It also might be helpful if you jot down your thoughts or even better get your friend to do so.  Perhaps treating your friend to the coffee or returning the favor is in order at the end of this exercise.

     

     


  • Suspend time.  Well I know you can’t exactly stop the clock literally.  However set aside a space of time within which you promise never to note what time it is.  You may want to set an alarm for the end. Then do whatever, yes whatever, your heart desires, without even thinking for a minute (no pun intended) how much time you are taking.



Getting to know your inner farmer

  • Write out your to do list and identify which items you like to do and which you don’t.  Then put all the things you like at the top and what you don’t like at the bottom.  Now turn the list upside down and start with what you don’t like. Get some of these things done and see how good you feel when you tick them off the list.

     

     


  • Simplify your goals.  Take one of your biggest goals, then challenge yourself successively to “what can I do about it now?” Keep asking yourself this question until you get to right now. Then ask yourself “what means do I have to get this done right now?” Then get it done within your means.  Then acknowledge how this action contributed to your dream or big goal.

     

     


  • Pay attention to the details of your day.  Pick a day in your week, preferably one that has lots of routine such as a weekday. Grab a journal or device that works for you.  Each time you commence a task note the time it starts, the time it takes to complete and time it finishes. Then reflect on the end of the task on how important that task was in your day, how it set you up for success and efficiency in the rest of your day and any other productive outcome generated.  If you have a lot of inner fairy in you this may not generate a lot of data, so try harder. If you have a lot of inner farmer in you, then pull out the diary/timetable and make sure it’s right.

     

     


  • Study time. Yes notice how long it takes to get something done or go somewhere.  Then pay attention to what else has happened in the world in that time frame.  For example, it might take you 25 minutes to commute to work by bus.  In that 25 minutes around the world 6,450 babies were born 1, 2500 acres of rainforest lost 2, 2650 people died 1,  businesses were registered, businesses folded, houses traded ownership. You get it. What are the statistics that you can identify and become aware of so you get an impression of what actually really happens in time.  Then consider your sense of time.



Bringing your farmer and fairy together

 

 


  • Plant an idea garden.  Every idea is a seed waiting from the right conditions to sprout and bloom. You create the conditions. You also decide which seeds to plant. It’s your garden. 

So get a container that has compartments – an egg carton will do but feel free to splash out and get a real seed-sprouting container.  Then brainstorm some ideas for a key challenging problem or area or goal in your life/work.  From the ideas your brainstorm, sort through for the ones you feel have potential. Then write each on a separate small piece of paper. Place one each in the compartments of the seed-sprouting container. 

     

    Now I would like to say cover them in soil but that would be my inner fairy talking. So instead you need to create the soil. What conditions and ingredients will make your ideas come to life.  As you make these happen add a small item to the seed container to cover the idea.  As you look at the seed container you can identify what needs tending what is going well and what is not really working.

  Return to the container at some point.  Take each seed out of the container and review the idea and see how much it has grown in your mind, in your life/work. If it is still viable put it back. If not then toss it. Soon you will have a group of viable ideas and non viable ideas.  Reflect on the process along the way rather than only focusing on the end goal.

     


  • Mini dream.  We are often invited to dream big. This may scare a few of you off from even imagining the future possibilities. So start small but at least dream. Take a blank piece of paper and dream out loud on paper what you would love to have happen in your life. Pick a certain area and write down or draw in pictures what it would look like. Describe it in all the real terms you can possibly come up with. Then compare to your current situation. Where there is a little stretch, go for it. Hold off on jumping for the big stretch items for now.


There are many more ideas and suggestions. In fact the best ones are usually your own.  Hopefully you are inspired enough to do something to work with your inner fairy and farmer.

 

One thing both fairies and farmers have in common is that the both are in the moment.  So either way you go enjoy the present, enjoy what you can and choose to do now every day of your life!

Let’s go there…

Jenn

 

 

 

References:

1. World Fact Book

2. Cool Earth