I have had the most remarkable experience over the past few weeks in regard to people helping me. I must write about this as an example of how the world can work if we want it to.
Most exchanges that take place in the business world are purely commercial, ie money changes hands and the person providing the service or goods pays for what they get. At another level such services and goods are also donated in a philanthropic gesture of good will to support those in need or less fortunate.
A different type of business
The missing exchange, the one I find rare in commodity, is the exchange of services and goods to assist another person who is equal to you in the business world without expecting money in return. Now some would cynically say, oh this is simply bartering. And yes I would agree that there are many systems in place equivalent to bartering.
Yet what I am talking about is the intention that someone has to offer their help, assistance, talents, services, and support to another human being with nothing expected in return. So perhaps this is what we call true giving.
Giving out of balance
Now I have been known to fall heavily on the giving side of the equation. In some people's eyes perhaps to my detriment from a business perspective, ie I give too much away for free. In my eyes a huge gesture of good will. Many times I have encountered a colleague or acquaintance in immediate need and I am best placed to help them right then and there. Essentially because my core capability is coaching and facilitation with a bit of the intuitive thrown in I can often find myself in a situation where the conversation goes to a level where using my skills and tapping into my business offerings is needed. In these moments I do so without hesitation, question or any consideration that I should make a deal before I open my mouth, or more often lend my ears.
Turning the tables
So it is with great humility that I write about the tables being turned. For so long in my life I feel I have been far more the giver than the receiver. Yes this has shown up in my LSI for those who know that profile, yes it is in my astrological chart for others who need that and in all my performance reviews of long ago I was praised for giving beyond expectation (I have always worked in service oriented roles).
In the past few weeks four specific people have touched my heart (yes this word is here on purpose) in such a way that I am now the receiver of such help. I have had these four people turn around and say to me "can I help you?" by offering to share their knowledge, skills, talents and expertise for my benefit. When the offer was made I said how much? They said, no charge, simply they wanted to help me and also acknowledged my own efforts to help them.
Beyond business as usual
Now again I am sure if you are wearing your business hat you are saying 'why don't you just make the exchange an arms length transaction, draw up a contract, and keep the boundaries?" Well I say why not? Why is it that we have to always operate in these parameters. I also acknowledge the importance of using money as an objective way to create an immediate exchange so that the giving and receiving cycle can be completed in a transaction. Yet sometimes the transaction is not one off, or meant to conclude with equal exchange in the moment.
It is obviously a strong belief of mine that sometimes we need to come from a place of love (yes I wrote this word intentionally). You know, use our hearts to make a decision every once in awhile, maybe more than that. When we do the gesture and the connection is so much stronger for it.
It will come back to them
I know what I will be doing in honour of these people helping me. Firstly doing the best I can to take what they offer and work with it to change my situation for the positive and help others. Secondly I will ramp up the good will I hold in my heart (oh I said it again!!!) for them as authentic and caring human beings.
And when circumstances should arise, guess who the first person will be that I call to suggest business to. Yes the ones that showed me that there is more in it for them then just the money, the deal, the contract, the job.
The deeper personal issue
So what really is the essence of this situation. I noticed at the time each person has offered their help to me something coming up - emotional release. Yes I wanted to go on record that I am human and have feelings. And also that despite appearances, still challenged by my ego to get the balance of giving and receiving right. I know what I want to happen, yet I get in my own way.
We often put out in the world the persona that we are perfect. Well perhaps a few are, I have yet to meet anyone like this. I am certainly not. However I am extremely, highly, maybe even too aware of this fact of life.
Conquering fear and being worthy to receive
What I am even more aware of and therefore reminded of in this situation is that of my human foible, Achilles heel, weakness. The challenge for me is that I find it hard to receive, allow, let in what I am offered. (Perhaps a bit of that masculine versus feminine issue). Below this perhaps there is an element of fear that I am not worthy enough. I think this element is in everyone and the battle that we all face when we take ourselves out there.
So it is with great relief and joy that I am able to accept and allow the gesture of help from these people in my life. I am truly grateful for their willingness to go there as I do so often myself. It is perhaps the law of karma, perhaps something simple, who knows. Lets just say that there must be people on earth masquerading as angels as they show up when I really need them in my life.
An invitation to you
My last comment is an invitation. What is it that you can do to help someone in need in your community, circle of influence, group of friends? Then knowing what this action is how can you act on it and offer your help WITHOUT expecting anything in return? Interesting perspective to take.
I truly welcome and encourage comments or feedback!
Let's go there...