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Jenn's main blog

Getting started with me

Jenn Shallvey

Do you know what you what you want to do with your life? Do you care? If you do then this post will start you thinking about your direction. It is exactly that...YOUR life and YOUR direction.

Start with time

So where do you start? This is the most common question we all ask ourselves. It is also a great excuse for us to keep puting off decisions. Making decisions in our lives can be challenging. In our younger years we find people, consider time dispensable. We can waste it. As we get older everything takes on new meaning. Time in particular.

So a starting point may be to first decide how much time you want to spend on this process. In other words how important is it to make decisions that are right for YOU and YOUR life?

Think about a normal day. How often do you make decisions about your life? What will you do today, what will you wear, who will you see and talk to, when will you go to bed? These are little decisions and often become part of a routine. So compare the time you spend on little decisions with the big ones.

Begin with the big ones

What will I do for a job? career?

Do I need to study and if so how?

What do I need to do to get ahead in my career?

Where do I live?

Do I save up for a place or rent? live at home? travel?

Do I want a partner in my life or am I happy on my own?

What will I do to find this person?

How do I want to live with this person?

Do I want to have a family?

What will I do if I can't have children?

These questions are examples of ones that challenge most of us at some oint in our life.

Go deeper

Going even deeper we really begin to find answers. Questions we may never ask include the following. Do you have time or want to make time to answer these?

What is important to me?

What are my values?

What do I stand for?

Why do I exist on earth?

How am I going to make a difference? a contribution?

Who are the people I want to help in my life?

What trade offs do I need to consider?

Where do I want to head?

Ultimately I believe that to continue asking questions of ourselves we grow and develop. It is when we don't ask questions that we stagnate.

The skill of self reflection

The process of asking questions and reflecting is a skill in itself. You simply don't put the question and just answer it. There is much more to the process. I believe we need to sit with the question in such a way that it almost permeates our whole being, world and existence. Then we see not only in our mind but through our feelings, heart, emotions, actions, choices, other people's reactions and experiences the answer. We may or may not see the answer we expect. We may get signals and messages we are not ready for. However if we at least start with being prepared to ask the questions then we create the opportunity to go somewhere in our life. We go to a place where we learn who we are in this world and why we are here.

Go there with you

So I put it to you...make the time to open up to self enquiry and enjoy the experience.

The reward is that as you gain more clarity and insight about your self you are free to be who you are with others. You are then able to open up to others and see them for who they really are as well.

Let's go there...

Jenn