A process you may find helpful in challenging times

Photo © Jenn Shallvey 2015

Photo © Jenn Shallvey 2015

I have been sitting with and reflecting much on the happenings of this week. I feel the shock and the wave of outpouring emotion in response to what is indescribable harm to others in all parts of the world.  I see the challenges many are going through trying to grapple with the emotions coming up in response.  My private reflection and practices are supporting me and I hope others in some way.  Yet I am affected as are you and asking many questions.  As a writer there are words pouring forth but not yet ready to be shared.

This morning though I woke at 4:30am with words to share.  For those of you who are open to inspiration in all its forms you will understand how this can happen.

So I pulled out my phone and jotted down the following post.  I share these words with you as an offering of a process of sorts. I do not guarantee whether it will be helpful to you. This is not for me to determine. Please check in with your self first to see if what I share is something for you. All you do is close your eyes, ask the question “Is it for my highest good at this time to do this process?”  If the answer is yes then I invite you do the process.  If no then ask yourself why?  You can go from there and perhaps come back and try again at another time.

What I ask below may be easy,  may be challenging. It depends on many factors including your self awareness, commitment to you and connection to the world around us.

You may wish to stand in front of a mirror. You may not.  Wherever you are please create a space that is supportive of you and allows you to completely focus on these questions. After reflecting it may even be helpful to record or note your responses for further reflection.  So this means not on a crowded bus, at your desk with workmates around you, etc.  You know what I mean.  I suggest you do this more than once and see what comes up. I suggest you also come back to your reflections.


Look at your self and say:

“before I judge and criticise another, what within me do I judge and criticise?”


Before you call for unity or war ask instead:

“within me where do I need unity or how am I divided within my own self?”

Answer these two questions.

Then consider:

“why am I afraid to be whole?”
“why am I so afraid to be me?”
“why do I expect others to change first?”

Your response is your response

Your response is telling in itself.

  1. If you have resistance to what I ask you then this tells you something.
  2. If you get no response this does as well.  
  3. If you do get a response then what you do with this information is purely up to you.

If you find this process opens you up to new insight that may benefit from further conversation and discussion I suggest you find others to help you, connect with people and be with people.  You will know what feels right. Your sharing and connecting with others who you feel comfortable with will help work through, anchor and ground your response.

I see this process as a chance to bring a sense of understanding to your self. It is a chance to be more your self. This is NOT a selfish act. On the contrary it is actually your contribution to the world. By being clearer in your self you are more able to be clearer with others.  This will help you be more for others in this world, especially in times of challenge.

Your answers also create the opportunity for you to discover further and make a choice about what YOU can do in response that is true to you and at the same time helpful to others. Many actions we take in times of challenge are reactions. It is of course normal and human yet may not be constructive and helpful.  So here is a way to be balanced in the way we are in the world as self with others.  It's about both not one or other.

Ok, I will not add any more to this post. I want more than anything for you to listen to your own knowing, to really hear you and not all the noise around you. 

By being fully you in this world, and taking action from this sense of wholeness, you send a stronger message than anything else you can do.

Jenn Shallvey