Photo © Jenn Shallvey 2015

Photo © Jenn Shallvey 2015

Many of us waver between two ends of a spectrum in terms of authenticity. Such movement may be situationally specific or chronic in our personality.  Either way the development of ourselves into authentic and real human beings is a life long pursuit.

At one end, there are moments of pure joy discovered when expressing our uniqueness and wholeness. Sounds all waffly but really it is not. When you are comfortable with who you are on the inside, feel real and authentic, you stop worrying what others think and expect. You also boost your self esteem and sense of self.  The reward for you is happiness, contentment, fulfilment and comfort in how you choose to live and work.  Aspects of living are easier and in flow. Your relationships with others exist with true equality and respect. Your work is enjoyable and in line with your interests and passions. You are true to your self.

There also may be periods of life where you are under the strain and stress of mountains of expectations-both self and other imposed. The ensuing emotional spiral neither supports you nor propels you forward. No one forces you to feel the way you do in response. Yet out of deference, weakness, lack of self awareness and/or confidence you comply. So much easier when we do not have the energy to give in and go along, right?  Wrong.  Well not wrong, but less sustaining. Eventually these habitual patterns catch up with you. Eventually you feel the weight of mounting pressure like the whole world is on your shoulders. If you are self aware you will notice this. Yet your awareness alone is not enough to shift the pressure back off. What you need is a good clean out, dose of extra confidence and attention. This path though takes commitment and effort.

Either place is exactly what it is, a place to be. One end leads to positive experiences and the other detracts from these lessening your potential.  It is possible to even consider the less sustaining place as one of rebellious resistance. There is only one loser when we resist - ourselves. It hurts, takes it’s toll and destroys our very essence of who we are.  Once we have fought battle after battle of resistance it is hard to know what we are resisting. At some point the habit of resisting takes over and this is who we become, at least on the outside.

How you move more towards being true to yourself will depend on what you do in the present moment right now.  As such these words are about embracing and supporting acceptance.   The way forward is less defence and more acceptance. In fact to truly shift ourselves from a place of denial, chaos and unsustainable being we need to “Radically Accept”. 

So the first words to live by are “Radically Accept”.