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"Being Real" past issues

May 2009: Being Real About Decisions

Jenn Shallvey


Welcome to the May 2009 issue of Being Real. THANKS FOR SUBSCRIBING!

  • This month's issue is Being Real About Decisions . Topics are:
  • Get Started: make decisions work for you
  • Pay Attention: use insights, signs and other factors
  • Be Purposeful: have clarity and intention
  • Being Real: learn from other decision makers
  • Resources: tap into extra help when need
  • Special offers
You are your decisions.



Get started: make decisions work for you

Practical motivational tips and ideas to help you take action, engage in the world around you and get serious about self management and development.

In the absence of momentum there can be no change. So if you want your life and work to be different, presumably better, then you need to get started doing something.

Getting started is not just about doing, it really is about moving from one state to another. Momentum comes into the equation in that we want to move from a less desirable state to a more desirable one. So even choosing NOT to do anything at the time is making a decision when done consciously.

Along the way sometimes we may experience discomfort or uneasiness, yet these are passing stages depending on the decision.

Ultimately decisions create shifts. We are never the same person we were before we consciously make a decision.


Decision making gets you going

Being in a rut we can often feel like there are too many decisions to make. Sometimes these decisions are big ones, other times easy ones. What stops some of us is the act of simply deciding? Well for some it's a personality preference wanting to wait and see. For others it may be deeper and relate to a fear of the consequences.

Either way, for many people, decisions are about commitment. When we make a decision we commit to a course of action to follow. The finality of this action may be too much, thus we avoid the action by not deciding. We keep our options open. Yet we also miss out on opportunities on the other side of the decisions we could be making.


What happens when we decide for our SELF

When we make decisions we are CREATING momentum. We are no longer dependent or leaving things up to fate. We choose what we need, want, desire and act on through our choice. This makes decision making an empowering process for getting started in anything we want to do in our life and work.

Decision making as a conscious process is true self management.

We engage in life and the world in which we live through the decisions we make.


What to do?

So to help you along past the hurdles of decision making here are some suggestions of what you can do should the ideas feel right to you.


  1. Size counts. Start making small decisions. Yes consciously be aware of the easy decisions and making them. For example, should I go to the networking event on Thursday or not? 
  2. Decide. Approach decision making like you are in training. Regular exercise will prepare you for the big ones rather than leaving it to the last minute or not at all. 
  3. Be aware. Notice what happens to you inside when you make the decision. This means reflecting on the emotions, the feelings, the reactions and attitude that follows your decision. When you feel good then usually the decision is right for you. When you feel bad then something is not right and perhaps you need to continue with the decision. 
  4. Find your natural style. Over a period of time, say a week or longer, study your decision making pattern. Keep a diary or mental note, whatever works for you. Notice what gets in the way and what supports you in making decisions. 
  5. Adjust along the way. If you like what you are finding then keep it up. If not then adjust your own internal process. You can do this because it is YOUR process, not some text book or methodology. 
  6. Go big. Ramp up your scale and impact. Make a BIG decision and notice what happens. Maintain conscious awareness of the beliefs and attitude you hold in regards to the decision. Stay real and stay positive. 
  7. Enjoy. Yes, once you start making decisions that suit you, life and work start to look different, change for the better and move forward in directions you never imagined possible.

I am not saying that decision making is easy. I am saying that if you are conscious, develop your own decision making process, that decisions will flow and support you rather than hinder you. What would you rather have?

When we get started with decisions, big things can happen for us.



Pay attention: use insights, signs and other factors

Noticing and increasing awareness about what is happening around you and the world in which we live and work.

Decisions can not be made in a black hole of information. We need data and information, whether hard facts or intuitive insight. Sourcing the information that is right for you is a personal development experience. It starts by paying attention to what matters.

I write thought pieces on paying attention in my my blog Let's go there.... I regularly post insights that get you thinking about your own life and work. I selected excerpts of a couple posts that are relevant to this newsletter edition.

Blog Post: Be a Tourist in Your Own Life. 5th May 2009

If we want to truly enjoy life and get the most out of it we need to engage in different ways. When it comes to making decisions a bit of curiosity combined with new direction helps. To know where to go we need to stop and look at the signs.

We need to "hold the intention of paying attention. That is all you need to do to start. Then notice. Really notice. It can almost be a game like the ones you played in the back of the car on long road trips. See what you see along the way." Read full post


Blog Post: Being me means being free to be me. 22nd March 2009

On the subject of knowing your self helps you make decisions. "It's a matter of turning the attention to you away from others.

To be who you really are you need to pay attention to you. I shared above examples of how to look at others and determine if they are being real. Now it is your turn. To be real apply the same perspectives to yourself. Look at you:

  1. Observe your behaviours, actions, reactions, persona.
  2. Sense your feelings, vibe, changes in emotion.
  3. Know what your inner self tells you through seeing, hearing, sensing and knowing.

Start being your own detective on your self." Read full post




Be purposeful: have clarity and intention

Inspirational comments, resources and information to support you in your aspirations, dreams and goals for creating purpose and meaning in your life and work every day.

What are you like when you get out of bed in the morning?

Ready to enjoy your day or roll over and do everything you can to avoid starting it?

What does this say about you?

What does it say about where you are at in your orientation towards living life and really being alive?

If you are jumping out of bed, fully awake, ready to enjoy the day then perhaps you are on purpose. Yet if you have the twinge of doubt, the niggling tug, the shadow of dread as you face your day you may need an attitude realignment. Yes. Just like your car needs a tune up so do you. Depending on your views, beliefs, circumstances, ie the kind of car you are, you will need to check in with how you are going on a regular basis.

Just like your car needs a tune up so do you.

When we are purposeful we are approaching our daily life with intention.

What does purpose mean to you? It is important to check in and take the time to reflect and consider why you do what you do. Purpose is personal. Even when you do what you do for others, internally there is always a guidance system of sorts setting you up for how you will respond.


Inspiring you to be purposeful

As you read through the following questions consider what comes up for you and inspires you. Then take the experience further through your own reflection. Perhaps write the question down or the statement down and review it regularly. Inspirational comments, resources and information to support you in your aspirations, dreams and goals for creating purpose and meaning in your life and work every day.

What decisions empower me? disempower me?

How do I feel when making decisions involving other people?

What if any decisions do I regret? What does this say about the way I make decisions?

What decisions have I made that at the time I did not realize would have great impact on my life and now do?

When it comes to deciding what I love to do for work what do I decide? How does my real work match what I desire?




Being Real: learn from other decision makers

Stories and examples of everyday people including well known people who are authentic, balanced and making a difference in the world by being who they really are in life and work.

Who do you admire for being who they really are in life and work?

I ask this question because the names and people that come up will say something about your values,perspective and story.

In this edition I am going to hold back on profiling one person. I would like to start by first getting you to think of WHO YOU ADMIRE. To do this try the following:


  1. Start a list of names of people from both the perspective of your life and work.
  2. Reflect on the list of names and notice what the people have in common.
  3. Then ask yourself "what do I see in these people that makes them seem like they are Being Real".
  4. What can I learn from them about Being Real in my life and work.


People Being Real

In this issue I would like to nominate an organization that brings together people Being Real. The organization is TED. Now if you already know of TED then you are likely already aware of the amazing people connected to this group. If you do not know of TED then it is time you were introduced.

Simply said TED, which stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design, is an organization bringing together inspiring people using their talents to create positive change in the world. TED holds conferences that bring these people together to share their stories and then inspire the members of the TED community to take action.

TED's mission is "spreading ideas" At TED they "believe passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and ultimately, the world." is the online portal where the public gets a chance to see what these inspiring individuals are doing. TED releases videos for all to see. The videos have delayed release dates so it pays to stay in touch. For now, simply exploring their website will be like opening a treasure chest of inspiration. To start you off I recommend a few people:


If you want a taste of TED locally then you can attend a TEDx event hosted in Sydney by Thought Leaders. To apply for a ticket go to the event page for TEDx




Resources: tap into extra help when need

Suggestions of extra support you can access to help you be who you really are in life and work.

I am always amazed at the variety of resources available to us. We can go off recommendations yet ultimately the DECISION to explore and learn is up to us. Here are a few ideas. What I suggest are resources that indirectly will support you in decision making. Many more could be listed here...





  • Authentic Leadership: Rediscovering the Secrets to Creating Lasting Value, by Bill George.
  • The Intention Experiment, by Lynn McTaggart
  • Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, by Susan Jeffers
  • The Mind Map Book, by Tony Buzan
  • Getting Things Done, by David Allen
  • Trust Your Vibes, by Sonia Choquette
  • 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Dr. Steven Covey
  • Ask and It Is Given, by Esther and Jerry Hicks
  • A Whole New Mind, by Daniel Pink
  • The Bodacious Book of Succulence, by Sark
  • The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
  • Quiet, by Paul Wilson


Websites to express yourself



Decision making sometimes requires some practice. One way to practice is to publicly express what you think and commit to in your life and work. Three places on the internet have great ways to do this: lets you record and post our intentions whether overarching big ones or daily.


43 Things provides a community of support to achieve all sizes of goals and actions. Just say it and begin to track it. You can opt in to have accountability or just make it a fun exercise in deciding what you want to do in your life and work.

Twitter is a place to venture if you are open to the whole world seeing what you say. If you want to test your thinking then play in this social networking arena and see what happens. Just remember what you put out there can't be taken back, hence why it is an interesting way of developing your decision making muscle.



Effective decision making requires clarity. Clarity comes from more than just changing our thinking. It also arises when we are in alignment and in tune as a person holistically. I therefore have three suggestions of experiences to help enhance your decision making.


  1. Meditation. If you are a regular meditator then you already know what I am talking about. If not then start now. It only takes a few minutes to begin. For me, meditation is a personal practice not something you should do a certain way. Get yourself inspired and check out one of the many resources available - books, CDs or classes near you.


  1. Yoga. Whether you go to a class or pick up a book and CD. Postures that align your body, align you. Check out a yoga studio or college near you. One that I like when I get around to going (one I admit to be working on) is Bikram Yoga in Lane Cove


  1. Nature. Spend time being in nature. It is calming, grounding and healing. A walk on a local trail or sitting on a park bench are easy steps to take. You don't have to be an adventurer to be one with nature. Get outside so you can be better on the inside.




Special Offers

I know through my coaching work as well as personal experience that decisions are double edged. On one hand we can become stuck in the middle of them and then once we make them feel free to move on.



Special Offer #1

An exclusive offer to subscribers of my newsletter is an invitation to a hosted conversation on the topic of Being Real About Decisions. Spaces are limited to the first 10 people that sign up.

DATE: 3rd June 2009

TIME: 5:30 to 7:30 pm

LOCATION: Riverview (Sydney)

Coffee and nibbles provided.

Please register your interest by emailing me at Further details will be provided upon registration.

Future offers will include teleconference formats for those of you not in the Sydney area.

Feel free to suggest to a friend.



Special Offer #2

I have recently accredited in Psych-K, a methodology used to reprogram our beliefs at the subconscious level. As a way of incorporating this practice into my current whole-person coaching approach I am offering complimentary half hour sessions to integrate the methodology. You can either take this session on it's own or add to a standard coaching session.

If you are interested in experiencing Psych-K as a way of changing your beliefs please feel free to contact me. Before doing so I suggest you first check out their website





About Jenn Shallvey

I am passionate about people Being Real. I help people be who they really are in life and work so that they can create positive change in the world.

I believe that when you Be Real you can then direct your energies to getting along and helping others rather than protecting who you are not.

My focus is on intuitive coaching and facilitation. Through this work I help you integrate all aspects of yourself and be more whole, authentic, confident and expressive.

When I work with you either one to one or in a group I help you get past the surface and go deep. From this depth you can discover what makes you happy, live the life and do the work you truly desire and give back to make the world a better place.





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Warm regards


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