Today I was listening in the car to my local radio station and had a laugh. The lighter topic of the morning was about ‘first world problems’. Now if you have not heard of this concept before here’s a quick snapshot. Such problems are those that can occur in developed societies, cultures and countries with high standards of living. First world societies can afford non essentials, luxuries, conveniences. When looked at objectively in the bigger context of including the problems of those in both second and third world societies, a ‘first world problem’ can then appear trivial and not worth complaining about. In other words the phrase is used to give someone a bit of perspective.

Examples abound. The one being shared on the radio to start the conversation was about how an ill fitted cup lid affected the radio hosts ability to drink her coffee. Others followed. I liked the one about an app not downloading fast enough on one’s smartphone.

Life balance, Real conversations, Self awareness, Thoughts to ponderJenn Shallvey11 July 2012

A letter to you before you are no longer physically here

Dear loved one,

I send you this letter as a gesture of spirit, from one human being to another.

You want for nothing, for your life has meaning. Your presence in this world every day touches those around you, brightens their day and makes a difference, no matter how big or how small.

Do not regret any unfinished or undone business in your life. You live life according to your way and are an example to others for honoring this path.

There is no excuse for being a bully

Bullies are everywhere-on the road, at your workplace, in some people’s homes even families. You may not be a bully but I bet once or more in your life you expressed a bully streak. You know, your anger got out of control and you took it out on another person. Yet likely you had a great social system of friends, family, teachers, work colleagues who helped you back in line. Maybe you even had unconditional love and worked through this aberrant behavior before it took hold and developed into a habit.

Some unfortunate ones in our society do not have this help. They are either so far gone or allowed to get away with the behavior that it is too late. Not too late to change, but likely too late to have quality relationships that help the bully repent, recover and return to being a decent human being. Or more likely, lacking in the resources and people dedicated to helping them turn around.

Communication, Everyday Leadership, Real conversations, Self care, TrustJenn Shallvey8 March 2010

What is small to you may be big to someone else

We pay attention to events, issues and situations that matter to us. In fact we can make what seems small to others become really big to ourself. Sometimes this is warranted, other times it is not.

A special life event

Take for example becoming a parent. I know not all of you are parents, yet you all came from parents. You likely know people as well who are parents. I have quite a few people in my network either expecting, about to have a baby or recently have given birth. When you are in their world this is a number one priority. Becoming a parent is a big change, a big shift in someone's world view, their way of life and stage of growth as a person.

A daily life making others feel special

On the other hand if dealing with new babies every day is your job then maybe it is not so life changing. When my obstetrician once told me how many babies he delivered was around 300 a year I felt the normality of it for him. I was one of many new mothers in and out of his office, even though for me I felt at times like the only one. Of course what made my doctor amazing was that he could still be personal, empathetic and understanding of my situation.

Real conversationsJenn Shallvey27 June 2008

Break through the smile barrier

I was out walking today in one of my favourite places - Manly and Shelley Beach in Sydney. I thought I would try an experiment. I decided to walk today purposely engaging each person I passed with eye contact and a smile. At the same time I chose to listen to my Ipod purposely restricting the audible aspect of any potential encounter.

What happened is amusing...

Real conversationsJenn Shallvey7 June 2008

Be compassionately honest

I had the pleasure today of meeting with two colleagues (one a top salesperson and the other a business futurist) to run through some business ideas. We each volunteered our time to help each other out in a collaborative way with feedback on aspects of each others work.

Real conversationsJenn Shallvey5 June 2008

Say what you want, don't just agree

I have had conversations lately where I ask the person what they want or pose choices. I am puzzled by the number of times people don't respond with a definitive statement.

Instead I get comments like "whatever you say will be fine" or "whatever is easiest". Then when asking for a person to decide between two choices I even get "it doesn't matter, either is fine".

Real conversationsJenn Shallvey4 June 2008