I genuinely believe every day is an opportunity for a new start. Whatever I did yesterday I get to do differently today. Mistakes made can be learned from. Moments of joy can be carried forward and celebrated. The common denominator is me. My decision to focus on today not yesterday.
A lot can happen that seems insignificant yet in total is significant.
(A day. Interactions. Observations. Encounters. Genuine people.)
Remember the stories.
Remember the way people lead lives and show you a way.
Remember how you see in others a mirror of what is or is not perfect in your own life.
Who are you in a digital world? Are you the collection of data from all your accounts and devices? Or are you a pattern in an algorithm honed over daily observation you unknowingly opted in to?
Will an algorithm applied to a question know more about who we are than we do ourselves?
Then why is it so hard to ‘be you’?
A lot gets in the way, if we let it.
My birthday came around the other day. Usually I tend to underplay it and hide hoping no one notices. I am and never have been one to be in the spotlight and for years birthdays just seemed like too much attention on me. I remember even when my son was born 20 years ago finding an excuse to focus even less on me.
A mentor recently invited me to reflect on and meditate on where I belong. This activity is beyond relevant for me at the moment. I have of recent pulled away from effectively every group except my immediate family. But even in that my family has pulled away through growing up and maturing into adulthood making it seem like we are farther apart.
"You know you burn more kilojoules when it’s cold”, the voluptuous woman said as she undressed next to me in the local pool changerooms. “Well at least that’s what I think.”
“Really”, I enquired not having cared about kilojoules for a long time even though I am equally as voluptuous.
You only know as much about me as you see and hear. You do not know what goes on inside of my head, my every thought, notion or whim. No the private world is private for a reason.
In revealing or sharing there is always the filter of conscious choice.
Sometimes I feel and take on the unloving of others. I feel it in my being, it reverberates and takes over. I lose a sense of self, awash in the whirlpool spinning me around and around. I look up for air but seem to have no control.